One of the most memorable discussions centered on the amount of $10,000.  My roommates (I was the lone dissenter) agreed that for that amount of money, they would be willing to kiss another guy for 10 seconds (no tongue, but kissing, not just pressing lips together).  It was a bit disconcerting to find out I was living with guys who could be so easily bought, but that was not the most alarming part of the discussion.  Upon further discussion, they unanimously agreed that if they had to choose among the roommates, they would select me as their kissing partner. 

            Needless to say, I did not sleep easy that night. 

            Looking back at those discussions, I’ve learned a couple of things.

1)    1)   If I ever get sent to prison, I am in serious trouble.  If I was such a clear cut choice in my apartment, I’ll likely be the belle of the ball at cellblock C.

2)     2)  People will do almost anything for the right amount of money.  There are limits, but it can be surprising how broad those limits can be.

Evidence of point #2 is everywhere (proof of point #1 is not nearly as abundant, but I’m not actively seeking for it, either).  Just look at some of the things that people are willing to do.  People eating pig intestines and sleeping with rats just for a chance to win money.  Tattooing advertisements on their bodies.  Marrying Roseanne Barr.

So let’s play the game – this time the question is: “What would you be willing to do for $3 million a year job?”

I did a quick web search on the worst jobs today.  Would you be an embalmer for $3 million a year?  How about inspecting manure?  Play quarterback behind the Houston Texans’ offensive line?

Ok, one last one.  Would you take steroids for $3 million a year? 

Think about it – is it easy to say no?  If given this decision, would you at least have to seriously consider it? 

Now think about 10 of your friends (I have five so I’ll just double them) – how many of them do you think would do it?  In other words, what percentage of the people you know would say yes?

This is the decision that many major leaguers have faced over the years.  In 2005, the average salary was slightly less than $3 million a year.  When there’s a discussion about steroids, it is natural to think of the superstars who are bashing home runs at record rates.  While Rafael Palmeiro was a big name who got caught, most of the players who failed the test this year are mediocre players fighting to stay in the league. 

Take a look at some of the names on the list: Carlos Almanzar, Michael Morse, Agustin Montero, Jorge Piedra, Jamal Strong.  Every time I heard of a new violator, my first thought was: “Who is that guy?”  My name could’ve easily been inserted in that list and most fans wouldn’t know the difference. 

And that’s one of the reasons they take steroids – they are anonymous players on the brink of oblivion.  Or they’re fighting their way out of anonymity into stardom.  Either way, the line for each is thin.  A major league fastball reaches the plate in 0.4 seconds, and 0.03 seconds is the difference between a hit and a strikeout.  Think about it  – hundredths of a second determine whether a player can be great or mediocre.  It shouldn’t be surprising that these guys try to get every advantage they can.

Hundredths of a second can be the difference of making millions playing a game or filling out TPS reports in a cubicle.  So for many, our hypothetical question is reality for them: “What are you willing to do for $3 million a year?” 

You can blame players for the steroids problem, and you may be right doing so.  But as I learned from my game in college, people will do the extreme for the right amount of money.  You may have done the same thing as these players, maybe not.  But I bet you know people that would.

The ironic part of this story is that crackdown on steroids wasn’t really sparked by a strong moral awakening on the part of the league or owners to clean up the game (they knew for years what was going on and only responded after the public outcry).  No, instead one of the key drivers to the whole movement (along with BALCO) that gets little credit was Jose Canseco’s book where he talked openly about steroids and named players.

And why did Canseco write the book?  For the money.  Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire, and greed with greed.  People will do a lot of things for money, but we already knew that.