With the media slobbering over Barry Bonds like a WeightWatchers® reunion at an all you can eat buffet, it's not surprising some things fall through the cracks. Another baseball record is unraveling without columns of ink marching like ants across the sports section of your favorite newspaper. Vince Lombardi reached the pinnacle of sports coaching the Green Bay Packers Dynasty in the 1960’s. His quote "Winning isn't everything it's the only thing" defined the essence of professional athletic achievement. Being the best of best. Here Lombardi's immortal words help frame a different question. What does it take to be the best of the worst? Is it luck, design, or simple incompetence? All these roads lead to the same place. In baseball that place is Kansas City. The Kansas City Royals flat out stink and here's why.
It's no small wonder the Kansas City Royals season to dismember gets lost in the shuffle but they are the Steel Curtain of losing, the Doomsday Defense against winning, and the Michael Jordan of futility. Coming off consecutive 50-win seasons it's hard to imagine a worse franchise than the "do not resuscitate" Royals. While this season's focus has been on the flat-lining Royals 4th worst start in MLB history, it's really no surprise.
Since 1994 Kansas City's elevated losing from an art to a science. In the last decade they've been one of the three worst teams in the American League eight-times and the absolute worst twice. It wasn't always this easy; they won seven division titles, two American League Pennants and a World Series from 1976 to 1985. When Royals GM John Schuerholz left in 1991 to become GM of Atlanta, the Royals sailed into the perfect storm. Hands-off owner Ewing Marion Kauffman died in August of 1993, the next owner David Glass built a reputation for interfering and cheapness. Two months into this season newly hired Royals GM Drayton Moore refused to sign on until he had written proof Glass would stay out of personnel decisions. It isn't a case of short pockets on a small market team but deep pockets on a tightwad.
You don't become bad overnight you have to work very hard. Rome wasn't burnt in a day. For a city that does steak and ribs better than most, meat and potatoes fundamentals elude the Royals. Take draft day. There's a feeling you're not in Kansas any more even if your dog's named Toto. It reads more like the X-Files. From 1992-2002 ten out of eleven top-20 draft picks crashed and burned, seven top-ten draft picks yielded 2 that vanished in the minors, and 4 pitchers with a combined MLB record of 25-38, 6.75 ERA. In 2002 the Royals selected Zack Greinke 6th overall in the draft, a 6-2, RHP, who debuted in 2004, winning 8, losing 11; in 2005 he won 5 and dropped 17. This season he's on the DL. Of the remaining 4 drafted, 2 evaporated including LeBron. Not James, but Juan LeBron, a name straight out of Charlie Sheen's Major League I & II. Only 2 made the show, Dee Brown, gasped a .234 BA and 14 HR's across seven seasons, and Jim Pittsley, suffered 8 wins, 15 losses, and a 6.02 ERA in 3.5 seasons. Its easy being an armchair quarterback when Brown, Reichert, Austin, Snyder, Stodolka and Griffin don't justify passing up on Milton, Berkman, Lidge, Zito, Utley and Crosby.
You can't depend on sheer luck either you need just the right manager. The Royals showed the same skill in firing Hal McRae and his .557 winning percentage in 1994 by replacing him with six managers who racked up a whopping .412 winning percentage since. Right now with Buddy Bell at the helm they might be at the apogee of their orbit of shame. What good is a lousy manager without equally lousy players? Grinders, who show up every season, and clog a starting slot like the current not-so-hot corners of Doug Mientkiewicz at 1st sack and the Mark Teahen, Tony Graffanino platoon at 3rd.
Mientkiewicz, best known for swiping the final out baseball from the 2004 Red Sox World Series, is no Pujols, Thome or Howard, and fits the Royals losing tradition like a glove. Over the past three seasons, Not So Dangerous Doug's averaged 87 games and swatted a lackluster .243-6-26, this season he's hitting a weak .259-1-14 and finally shipped the World Series ball to the Hall of Fame dashing his only hope at being the answer to a trivia question. At 3rd Sack Mark Teahen, and Tony Graffanino prove when you platoon these guys you get the worst record in baseball. In 23 games this season Teahan's hitting .195-2-9. Last year Teahan soaked up 133 games at the hot corner banjo-hitting .246-7-55. Tony Grafannino is the mirror image of Doug Mientkiewicz, a guy who plays 60 games a season and he's already played thirty-six. Tony's tepid .263-3-15 features 2/10ths of a homerun less than he averaged in each of the last four seasons.
With 4 other starters hitting .245 or less including a DH below the Mendoza line you have major league baseball's version of Motel Hell. It's never easy to reach for the record. If just one foul ball hooks fair you go from immortal to plain bad. At 12-37 with 30% of the season in the books the Royals have a chance to be very special. The current AL record holder for losses in a season is the 2003 Detroit Tigers with 119 losses against 43 victories. In the NL the Cleveland Spiders achieved immortality in 1899 punting 134 games and taking the cheese in 20. Secretly the Royals organization must be very proud to realize a dream a decade in the making. For the Kansas City Royals, "Losing isn't everything it's the only thing."
LOVE the topic, love the references and I love the numbers you used in your piece. The DH hitting below the Mendoza line was a perfect way to round up how bad this team is. I wrote about the Royals a couple of weeks ago as their futility has led them to becoming my favorite team.
I think the writing could've been a little tighter, I wasn't sure where this was going for a while. But I will say that I did enjoy the article and I can tell by this compared to other pieces that you've done you are working real hard and stepping up.
Pat, appreciate the remarks, I'm still editing it, so by Friday it'll be tighter than an ants, I think you catch my drift. Thanks again, always a help.
Josh, much appreciated, I was worried too many of us would zero in on the hapless Royals. Thanks. At least the A's won't lose 'em like the Royals will. Best of luck this week with the judging.
For me, at least, it's not just that the Royals are a bad baseball team (name a sport and you're going to find a handful of terrible teams), it's that they're not even interesting.
Uninteresting losses, that's a pretty unwatchable combination.
Now, the 1962 Mets...that's some losing with style.
Hey Ed, excellent job. This might just about double the amount of ink that's been spent on the Royals this year, it's good to see them get some press. I loved the "apogee at their orbit of shame" line....
josh - If it makes you feel any better, you beat me to the punch mentioning that my/our A's lost the series to these scabs. Things are getting so grim for Oakland right now that Santosh Venkataraman is writing their Yahoo game previews. His game 2 opener went like this: "The Kansas City Royals look to capture a road series since their last visit to McAfee Coliseum when they meet the Oakland Athletics on Tuesday." See? Even pro writers are idiots. That sentence as it sits makes no sense.
ed - The Royals are always swapping players with the A's. I think Esteban German (hitting .372) is one they'd like back, and Matt Stairs was a fan favorite here. Dye & Damon each lifted the A's up for a while before becoming champs on each version of the Sox.
This guy Jeff Passan (Yahoo) recently wrote an article about how a KC fan sold his loyalty on EBAY. Here is the link:
Overall a good and thorough job. Honestly not sure this will get you top 3 this week (although this is the first I've read) but in my opinion the topic was tough to nail down.
Thanks Nooch, When discussing the absolute current worst of sports the Royals as good as it gets...for the fans it's numbingly excruciating. I would've done the Penguins (.312 since 2002), but most people care even less about hockey. I myself, after attending over a thousand Flyers games over the years, love it.
I must say I agree mostly with moran. I wasn't real sure where it was going for awhile. In the end I found it a decent piece, but not your best. I hope to see you given another chance. I'll give you five stars just to help you move on cause I know you deserve to be further on despite the fact that this wasn't your best.
Ed: Dude, right article, wrong city. It took the M's a far shorter time to slide from the pinnacle to the nadir (less than 3 years) than it did for the Royals. KC will be here for a four game set over the weekend, and I am betting somebody sees an improvement in their winning percentage (and I "ain't" at all sure that it will be the M's, though it should be). It's just a proof of the pudding that everyone who leaves or gets traded away from the M's seems to blossom almost immediately where ever they end up. At least the Royals got a GM today that came from a franchise that has made the playoffs for more straight years than anyone cares to mention, and one that has done the right thing with their farm system--maybe it is the beginning of the end of the Royals' miseries.......
The Royals and others like them make you understand Steinbrenner's problem with the luxury tax. The fact that the Yankee, Red Sox, and White Sox ownerships have to cut these guys a check at the end of each year is a joke. These pitiful owners of the Royals, D-Rays, Pirates, etc. get rewarded financially for running these "quadruple A" franchises. That's the embarrassment!
Thanks sleepless, appreciate it, their are a few others that need dishonorable mention besides the KCR and the M's like the D-Rays, Detroit pretty much every year. I think the Royals show a nice solid descent into badness...
Thanks Xea, appreciate it. I think the fact that big markets will always outspend the small markets is another reason baseball needs a cap, it's an American sport not just New York. I think the big props have to go to Steinbrenner for spending whatever it takes to win where a billionaire like Glass spends the least possible. The league needs something better than a luxury tax to reward as you rightly point out non-contending cheapskates. Give the money to the teams with winning records.
Better yet, hamstring the MLBPA until they have to agree to incentivized merit based pay just like the rest of us poor working stiffs. Set the league minimum a little higher, pay it to everyone, and then reward them with incentives for a job well done (not my idea, it belongs to my 26 year old daughter, but I think she is on the right track here). If you produce, you get the big paycheck. If not, too bad so sad.
Like the Tigers of 2003 the Royals are drinking some bitter vinegar. If there is a team that lost with dignity and then improved into graceful winners it is the Tigers 2006. This read is one of the best of the contest, why? The writing was sincere, if a team can lose with style the road to winning is being paved, see above, my Tigers are proof, and Bonderman and Verlander are pitching great. I like the topic and message of your article. There are some portions that need work and I think you are already to correct them. This is one of the best articles yet in the contest.
Ed, I really like the quotes you used. Are they merely sayings or real quotes? If they are quotes by a specific person, I'd love it if you could reference them in your piece. I had almost thought of doing a "best sports quotes" piece and maybe that's why I'm curious. Nice job!
LGRW, thank you very much for your sincere remarks, I appreciate it. I'm revising it on the fly, so as I see things I eliminate them, or as people mention things I'm trying to incorporate their best advice. Thanks again.
Thanks tjw118, all the quotes are all from Vince Lombardi, which I explained in the last line as having been quoted throughout. I'm glad you liked them and of course the very best of luck to you in this weeks assignment, voting and judging.
Like Belle said, you were a little loose with the quotes. Otherwise, this was fantastic. As a Royals fan, it was hard to read, but still an excellent post. Love the “the ‘do not resuscitate’ Royals” comment. Being another loveable loser myself, I can really relate to my Royals right now. Hopefully the new GM from Atlanta will turn things around. Man, I hate David Glass. I’m an edhardiman fan, though. Keep up the good work, this was a challenge that should pay dividends.
Ed I wanted to respond on your blog--thanks for reading my post and for your sincere review on my post and blog, that means alot to me as you real busy with your article and the NGS2, your input betters my writing. Thank you for taking time out of your busy writing schedule to read my post on chainsaws to poker tables. thanks again.
Absolute! Thanks for the kind words I appreciate and always find your blog an excellent read. As for the quotes they are so famously Vince Lombardi's I only referenced them in the last sentence. Which I've revised to make clear. The Royals made a great move in bringing back Drayton Moore today, we'll see if Glass really doesn't interfere...
I echo Absolute Best here. Hopefully for K.C.'s sake the arrival of the new G.M. from Atlanta can help restore K.C. to its winning ways. I am sure a little of John Schuerholz rubbed off on him. Good job.
LGRW, thank you, I'm never too busy to read great stuff on your blog. It helps to see what other great writing is happening here. While the NGS2 is important to me and I appreciate all your support, first and foremost it's important to support the people like you who are helpful and gracious in reading and supporting my scribble as well as helping me to improve.
your pal
ed
ps. besides who doesn't think Gordie Howe is the greatest hockey player to ever lace up the skates?
Gbrent, thanks I appreciate it, best of luck this week in the assignment, voting and judging. Glass seems like a real problem. Drayton worked for the Royals back when Kauffman owned the team so maybe he'll bring back some of that greatness from 76-85 that's been missing.
It's probably me being a #### than anything else, ed. (The reason why I didn't see where it was going) But I didn't really think your lede really let me know the total topic and then the different quoted sections sort of threw me off. It's an interesting style and I do like it, I just don't think I fully understood everything, lol. They say in journalism you have to write as if you are writing to someone who knows nothing. Well, I know nothing. ;)
Thanks DMitch I appreciate the answer I added:
"The Royals flat out stink and here's why."
To the first paragraph thanks to you mentioning that and I think you were astute (as well as Pat Moran, first) to point out I hadn't framed the story well enough. Thanks again. No problem with you speaking your mind, if something is wrong by all means please say so.
Baseball needs a salary floor far more than it needs a salary cap. The Marlins making less than A-Rod is just as much an embarrassment to them as it is the Yankees. But, I am a Yankee fan so I'm just a shade biased on this issue!
Good post, Hardiwuzznat. Losing starts from the top down, and when your club's owned by business, and not baseball men, they'd rather not take the risk of spending and winning and upset the bottom line. Its refreshing, but not entirely comforting to know there are organizations out there worse off than Philly in that regard.
Thanks burger21, I appreciate it and I will chek out the truth asap. Thanks again. So Cleveland could upend this by simply losing every game to the Royals...that is so unfair...
Xea that's an even better idea. If you don't want to spend it, get out of baseball. A minimum salary floor like football, though I'm not sure all the Marlins combined are worth A-Rod...
